I know the best people (Bonus Post)

Iron Man 2 (Spoilers)

The Thing: 

Iron Man 2

The sequel to the wildly successful Iron Man, Iron Man 2 sees Tony Stark dealing with a number of threats: An angry Russian Physicist is trying to kill him with electrified whips, the government is trying to get him to give up his armor, Samuel L. Jackson is around him being a badass, and there is still almost as much sexual tension between him and his personal assistant as there is between me and your mother.

Why do you think I really keep coming over for dinner?

Why it is worth your time:

Hot women

War Machine

 Tony creates the TriForce of Wisdom

Hot Women

Why people will tell you it isn't:

A lot of folks argue that it suffers from the same plot and character overload that has doomed other super hero sequels. While it is true that some elements could have been saved for another film and benifited from expanded screentime, all in all it was handled pretty well. Also:

This trumps any argument.

 

Picture Roundup

It's a Flint paper, so it only makes sense there are more obituaries.

David Weber and John Ringo are my new literary heroes. I don't even care what their book is about, its got a man riding a fucking dinosaur while wearing a cape a wielding a laser rifle and katana on the cover.

Treasure Hernandez works hard to break stereotypes. 

While it is actually a selection of books, better alternatives have been suggested. Mr. Ditzgookey recommends it as a way to sell week old newspapers, while the Lord of the Eastern Mountain suggests a rack of mirrors.

Post will be late today. In the mean time, check out this badass: http://weinterrupt.com/2010/05/dick-smith-renamed-stormhammer-deathclaw-firebrand/

Diablo II Drinking Game (Proposed Rules)

Diablo II Drinking Game

General:

You level up: 1 Drink

You die: 2 Drinks

Unique Monster Kill: 2 Drinks

Super Unique Monster Kill: Finish Drink

Complete Quest: 1 Drink

Complete Act: Finish Drink

Item Breaks: 1 Drink

Pick Up Unique Item: 2 Drinks

Complete Gear Set: Finish Drink

Special:

Kill Diablo, Mephisto, or Baal: 1 shot

Kill Griswold: 1 Drink

Find Wirt's Peg Leg: 2 Drinks

Rescue Deckard Cain: Finish Drink

Find Horodric Cube: 1 Shot

Make Horodric Staff: 1 Shot

Find The Gidbinn: 1 Drinks

Find a Component of Kalim's Will: 2 Drinks

Assemble Kalim's Will: 1 Shot

Destroy the Compelling Orb: Finish Drink

Kill Hephasto the Armorer: 1 Drink

Destroy Mephisto's Soulstone: 2 Drinks

Kill Diablo's Generals: Finish Drink

Kill Shenk The Overseer: 1 Drink

Rescue Anya: 2 Drinks

Kill the Ancients: Finish Drink

Comedic:

Minion Necromancer lags the game: Everyone, 1 Drink. Necromancer, 2 Drinks.

Someone mocking quotes Deckard Cain: Everyone, 1 Drink. Unfunny Player, 2 Drinks.

Enter Secret Cow Level: 1 Drink

Someone Says "There is no cow level": Everyone, 1 Drink. Unfunny Player, 1 Shot.

Kill Hell Bovine: 1 Drink

Kill Cow King: Finish Drink

Good and Bad ideas.

1. The Best Idea Ever

Want to know how geeks celebrate someone's 21st birthday? 

No

 No

I wish

Absolutely not

FUCK YES!

That is right, drinking and Diablo 2. It was a thing of beauty.

2. This Man is Cooler then You

Scott Landry is more of a badass then you can ever hope to be. Might not seem so at first; He is an environmentalist, leader of the Marine Animal Entanglement Response Team based in Provincetown, R.I., which makes him sound like kind of a lame hippy.

That is, until you find out his job involves cutting ropes off the backs of whales with a crossbow. 

I mean, HOLY SHIT.

3. Things You Should NEVER do.

Ok, as you may have guessed, I enjoy the occasional drink. Alcohol is a wonderful thing, and I advocate it's use more then most.

That being said, I think you should DRINK IT.

Not pictured: A good idea.

Apparently, this thing called "Vodka Eyeballing", where you ingest neat vodka through your eye, is catching on among the college set.

Seriously, I get it. Drinking in college is a big part of the experience, and things can get a little out of control sometimes. But pouring vodka in your eye? 

College experimentation should involve sexual misadventures, not discovering new orifices to get drunk with.

Snakes on a Plane

The Thing:

Snakes on a Plane: The Role Playing Game

 Believe it or not, not actually a d20 supplement 

For those of you who didn't use the internet back in 2006, Snakes on a Plane was a small movie that turned into a huge internet phenomena and then into a bigger but still mediocre movie.

Written up by user Deacon Blues on the RPG.net forums, the introduction is as follows:

INTRODUCTION
There's motherfucking snakes on this plane!

You and the other players take the role of people on an airplane. One player takes the role of the SnakeMaster (SM). The SM adjudicates rules disputes, helps direct the story and controls all the snakes.
 

Why it is worth you time:

Snakes on a Plane, the movie, is basically just a big, simple joke driven by the whims and desires of people on the internet. Snakes on a Plane, the game, is a simple game driven by the whims and desires of the players. Neither really has any substance, but they are both quick, fun, and pretty hilarious.

Also, who doesn't want an excuse to shout this:

Why people will tell you it isn't:

Alright, so its been a few years and the Snakes on a Plane joke is well past it's prime, and at its best it was just an amusing diversion. However, do you really need more then that?

Delicious Updates

1. Meat, so much meat....

As you may recall, I work part time in a deli these days to supplement my income from SFT.

Editor's note: HAH!

I apologize, as this has had a negative impact on the update schedule. I will try to compensate, and get more timely.

Editor's note: Bullshit. Alcoholism and jail time have negatively impacted your update schedule. What little actual work you do is not nearly enough to throw this off.

2. Sharing is Caring

As some of you may have noticed a while ago, there are some fun little buttons at the bottom of each post for sharing your favorite posts on your social network of choice. The success of SFT is in your hands, so remember, if you like it, and you think your friends would like it, share it.

Editor's note: Maybe if you wrote anything worth a damn your readers (all 5 of them) wouldn't need such encouragement. 

3. Picture of the week

Been a while

RULES:
- Tell 100 Truths

LAST:
1. Last beverage = Sonic Scredriver
2. Last phone call = Had a pleasant chat with Jim.
3. Last text message = From Jim: "Just got off the phone with Gerard Butler's lawyer. CALL ME NOW!"
4. Last song you listened to = "Pimpin Ain't Easy"
5. Last time you cried = When Charles Barkley retired from B-Ball.

SIX HAVE YOU EVER’s:
6. Dated someone twice = Only twice?
7. Been cheated on? = Psh, like someone could cheat on this!
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? = In my defense, that was a very convincing drag queen. (and I was pretty drunk)
9. Lost someone special? = Billy....
10. Been depressed? = Only when under the influence of a depressant.
11 Had a friend turn on you = ...I haven't forgotten, Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, and one day there will be a reckoning between us.

HAVE YOU:
12. Made new friends = Yes.
13. Fallen out of love = Yes.
14. Laughed until you cried = Of course.

15. Met someone who changed you = I will never forget you.
16. Found out who your true friends were = Every time the bullets start flying.
17. Found out someone was talking about you = Not that I can recall.
18. Kissed anyone on your friend's list = Maybe. You would have to ask them, I might have been drunk.
19. How many people on your friend's list do you know in real life = I know EVERYONE.
20. How many kids do you want to have = Just one. Any more and I get heartburn.
22. Do you want to change your name =Fuck no.
23. What did you do for your last birthday = Burned down a bar.
24. What time did you wake up today = I don't sleep.
25. What were you doing at midnight last night = Other then your mother?
26. Name something you CANNOT wait for = When Vince releases his new infomercial.
27. Last time you saw your father = During the duel.
28. One thing you wish you could change about your life = I could use super powers.
29. What are you listening to right now = "Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced" -- Dropkick Murphys
30. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Fuck that guy.
31. What's getting on your nerves right now = Electrical/chemical signals.
32. Most visited web page = [censored]

ABOUT ME:
33. What's your name = James Tiberius Harper
34. Nicknames = James Tiberius Harper
35. Zodiac sign = Pisces.
36. Male or female = Male
37. Elementary = Holeman Correctional Facility
38. Middle School = Rikers Island.
39. High school = Sing Sing
40. Hair color = Black
41. Long or short = Long. REALLY long.
42. Height = 5'11'
43. Do you have a crush on someone? = Yes.
45: What do you like about yourself? = What's not to like?
46. Piercings =If you are lucky (or I am drunk) I might show them to you.
47. Tattoos = One for every man I have killed.
48. Righty or lefty = Righty.

FIRSTS :
49. First surgery = Getting that spear removed from my calf.
50. First piercing = [censored]
51. First best friend = Stefani...
52. First sport you joined = Full contact quiz bowl.
53. First pet = I may or may not have had a cat. I don't know, I never opened the box.
54. First vacation = Mars.
55. First concert = Does Burning Man count? There was music there.
56. First crush = Kimberly Hart

DOING RIGHT NOW:
57. Eating =
59. Drinking = Old Fashioned
60. I'm about to = Kill a man
61. Listening to =  "Fuck You I'm Drunk" -- Flogging Molly
62. Waiting for = 2012

YOUR FUTURE :
63. Want kids? = Grabbed one at the store yesterday, thanks.
64. Want to get married? = Done that once or twice. No fun really.
65. Careers in mind? = Master Distiller.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER?:
66. Lips or eyes = Tits
67. Hugs or kisses = Oral
68. Shorter or taller = Laying down.
69. Older or Younger = (My Age/2)+7
70. Romantic or spontaneous = Willing.
71. Nice stomach or nice arms = Nice Ass
72. Sensitive or loud = Drunk
73. Hook-up or relationship = Drunken Mistake
74. Trouble-maker or hesitant = Kinky

HAVE YOU EVER:
75. Cried yourself to sleep = Not recently.
76. Passed out after drinking= No.
77. Kissed a stranger = Thanks Tequila!
78. Drank hard liquor = Once or twice.
79. Jumped in a pool with clothes on = Not as often as naked.
80. Lost glasses/contacts = Not mine.
81. Kiss on first date = Just kiss?
82. Broken someone's heart = With my fist.
83. Had your own heart broken = Mental note: Crack...never again.
86. Turned someone down = ...what!?
87. Cried when someone died = R.I.P. Billy
88. Liked a friend who is the opposite gender = Yes.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
89. Cerulean, lime green, black, and violet.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself= Yes. I exist. I checked.
91. Miracles = Yeah. I mean, how else do you explain whiskey?
92. Love at first sight = That's not called love.
93. Heaven = Yes.
94. Santa Clause = You're damned right. Me and the fat man still have beef over the whole Mrs. Clause sex scandal thing.
95. Kiss on the first date? = See 81
96. Angels = Only when I am looking at one.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? = Yes.
98. Who is it? = Oh Gerard...
99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? = Maybe? I don't really remember much of '06.
100. Told 100 truths on this?= I got 99 problems, but the truth ain't one.