#winning

"Hey barkeep," I said, settling into my favorite bar-stool. "Whiskey sour, my good man."

"Huh,"  The bartender put down the glass he was polishing and grabbing the sour mix. "What kind of whiskey?"

"Eh, whatever is in the well." I put a handful of ones down on the bar. "I am a little strapped for cash tonight." The bartender nodded.

"Nonsense!" Exclaimed a jovial figure as he took the seat next to me. "Top shelf stuff, for both of us. Its on me."  

I chuckled and turned to face my surprise benefactor.

"Well thanks, but you really don't..."

HOLY FUCK!

 "Charlie Sheen‽ What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, just having a drink." He said, grinning and taking the glass offered by our bartender. Nodding to the drink in front of me he added, "You should do the same." 

I quirked and eyebrow at him, and then turned to eye my drink suspiciously. I mean, I trusted the bartender, and I loved whiskey sours, but this one was from Charlie Sheen. Like, that Charlie Sheen. This gift seemed more then worthy of suspicion. 

"What, worried it will make your face melt and your corpse explode?" Charlie let out a hearty laugh. "Just didn't feel like drinking alone, is all. Its safe, I promise." 

I picked it up and gave it a tentative sip. Much to my surprise, it was a completely mundane (if extremely delicious) cocktail.

"Well, thanks." 

"No problem." 

"You know, I gotta say, you are way more mellow then I was expecting." I took another drink. "I mean, no offense, but you really come off as a little more...intense in the media." My unexpected drinking partner let out a bark of laughter.

"Were you expecting me to announce my heroic heritage and feline vitae?" He took a casual sip of his own drink. "Or maybe I would repeatedly declare my victory as I explained my martian musical prowess?"

"Uh, yeah actually, kinda."

"Here's a secret kid, no one in Hollywood is like they appear in the media." A slow smile spread across his face. "But, what can I say? People are all about the crazy celebrity these days." I almost choked on my drink.

"Are you telling me that shit is all a publicity stunt?" 

"Maybe."

"Everything? Even the bi-winning bit?"

"Well, I am bi-winning, but not like I say it in the interview."

Pictured: Bi-Winning

"Jesus," I paused for a moment while I processed this newest development. "I gotta say Charlie, I am impressed." 

"Please, call me Carlos." He knocked back the remainder of his glass. "Now, how about we go to that table over there and tell those ladies a story about how we both do incredible amounts of illegal drugs. Five bucks says it gets both of us laid."

"I...I think you might be my hero."