Kick Ass (Spoilers)

The Thing:

Kick Ass: The Movie

If this poster doesn't make you want to see it, you are dead to me.

 An adaptation of Mark Miller's comic of the same name, Kick Ass takes a look at what would happen if normal people in the real world put on masks and headed out to fight crime. 

Enter our young protagonist, Dave Lizewski, a normal high school student who decides one day to don a modified diving suit and go fight crime.

Then he gets beaten, stabbed, and hit by a car. 

He recovers, and gets back in the super hero game, while also getting closer to the lady of his dreams (who thinks he is gay, for some ill defined reason). Things quickly spiral out of control and Kick Ass finds himself involved with murderous super hero team Big Daddy and Hit Girl, mafioso super hero impersonator Red Mist, and a whole lot of really bad people who want to do really bad things to him.

Why it is Worth Your Time: 

While not as laugh out loud funny as the trailer would make you believe, Kick Ass is really a dark comedy at its heart. If you have a sick and twisted sense of humor (you know you do), you will likely find Kick Ass quite amusing.

Also, Kick Ass basically shows us what would happen if we all tried doing what we wanted to do as kids (and maybe older): be a super hero*. Its a deconstruction of the super hero concept, much like Watchmen. However, where Watchmen focused on the minds and psyches of the people behind the masks, Kick Ass focuses on how society would react to the emergence of super heroes: Kick Ass becomes an internet phenomena, inspires other crazy people, and attracts the wrath of local organized crime. 

Oh, and you hear an 11 year old say Cunt.

*Don't lie, you totally did.

Why people will tell you it isn't:

OK, before you comic nerds start giving me shit, I read the original Kick Ass, and I know there are some substantial changes, but lets face it, the Mark Miller's original hate for his protagonists would never have flown with movie goers. 

-Spoilers Ahead-

Dave doesn't get the girl. When he reveals he isn't gay and that he is kick ass she gets angry and has her new boyfriend beat him up. It is revealed Big Daddy isn't actually an ex cop and Hit Girl's mother is alive. He was just a depressed accountant who wanted to do something exciting with his life. After everything happens, Hit Girl goes to live with her mother. At the end of the comic Kick Ass comes home and walks in on his dad having sex with the ex girlfriend of the drug dealer Hit Girl killed when he first met her, and then the girl he was after sends him a picture of her giving her new boyfriend a blowjob.

Oh yeah, and he gets his scrotum electrocuted

This deep seated hate for his creation might have made Mark Miller's original work deeper and more realistic (arguably), but the simple fact is people like happy endings. The core of the work is still there, and that is what matters.

Then, of course, there are the people up in arms about an 11 year old girl swearing like a sailor. However, these people don't seem to mind how she is brainwashed into brutally murdering countless people, so I can confidently say those people are functionally retarded and can be safely ignored.