My my, it has been a while, hasn't it? I must apologize, things got kind of crazy for me there.
Who knew?
Editor's note: James, your lawyer has asked me to make sure
you don't put any incriminating material
in today's update.
Oh, right, I have an editor now. Jim is the newest member of the Somewhat Funny Staff to be required by the district court of Genessee county as part of a legal settlement. Everyone say hi to Jim!
Editor's note: There is no need to address me or my contributions directly in the blog. This will work best if my influence is transparent as possible. Also, I am kind of ashamed to be associated with this project.
Anyway, some great things have happened in my absence, so lets get started on today's update!
1. Fucking Hell
In what may be the most important legal battle in the continent's history, the European Patent Office had to reverse their decision denying a company the right to produce a beer called Fucking Hell.
The reversal was made after the brewer proved that Fucking is a real town in Austria. Since the style of the beer is Helles (more commonly referred to as a Lager), Fucking Hell is not really obscene, just descriptive.
Yes, this sign does get stolen all the time.
2. Lady Gaga
My arch nemesis, Lady Gaga, turned 24 this past Sunday. Honestly, the news came as somewhat of a shock to me; I never would have guessed that someone could develop such deep psychosis in a little under two and a half decades.
Well, at least she seems to like the gift I sent.
However, if all goes according to plan, my vengeance will be wrought upon my nemesis before she sees her next birthday!
Editor's note: James, please stop making inflammatory/threatening statements about public figures. Also, Lady Gaga is not your arch nemesis. I am pretty sure she would have to know who you are to maintain that kind of antagonistic relationship.
3. Chat Box
As mentioned yesterday, I have removed the chat widget from the site. Before you go accusing me of being a bitch in the comments section, let me note that it wasn't really the harassment of the masses that put me off to it. Someone who knows me used that medium to anonymously taunt me about something very personal.
The occasional "lol fag!" and tinyurl to goatse doesn't really bother me, but if you (you know who you are) tries your shit on this site again, I will find you.
Editor's note: Damnit James, stop posting things that will warrant a police investigation! Jesus! Also, no one gives a flying fornication about your personal issues.
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