So, there I was the other day, strolling through the local grocery. My list was pretty short, just the essentials: meat, pop, and chips. So, I collect my desired purchases and proceed to checkout, wait in line, get up to the cashier, unload my cart, then pull out my wallet. All very standard, a routine I have went through many times.
Then the cashier reaches into my pile of goods and produces a box of condoms. A Trojan Pleasure Pack no less! The cheeky bastard cocks an eyebrow, waves the box at me, and asks "Planning on having some fun tonight?". Awkward, right?
You're damn right it was, but not in the way you expect. You see, much as I loath to admit it, I am currently sexually inactive, and since I don't need to smuggle drugs any time soon, have no use for condoms. So why the hell was I buying them then? Hopeful optimism? Balloon animals?
No, as improbable as it is, I don't know how they got with my stuff. Of course, trying to explain this to the cashier would only serve to make me look like an embarrassed fool trying desperately to explain away what was a very intentional selection. So I did the only thing I could do at the time to save face. I casually leaned on the credit card machine, looked him right in the eye, and said:
"Maybe. What time do you get off work big guy?"
I have never seen a cashier ring someone up so quickly in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment