Girlish Confessions

or How I Got Drunk and Admitted Terrible Things.

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
Not my bra...

2. Do you sleep with socks on?
Only when I am feeling classy.

3. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else?
Two someone elses. Variety is the spice of life!

4. Do you enjoy drama?
Of course! My favorite is Satyr Plays!

5. Are you a girly-girl?
For the last time, creepy craigslist guy, I will not put on that dress!

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
The bartender. The bouncer did actually happen after but that was more a grapple then a hug...

7. Small or large purse?
When murses finally become socially acceptable, I am getting a fucking huge one.

Seriously, you could fit a bar's worth of booze in there!

8. Are you short?
Nope.

9. Do you like somebody?
Only if "somebody" stops asking me questions I haven't heard since high school.

10. Does your Facebook password have to do with a boy?
i<3countdracula2000

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Yeah, I usually only wear a pair for a day or two before tossing them and grabbing new ones. Good thing they come in packs of 7 pairs.

 

Wait, you mean they aren't disposable? Well shit.

12. Do you think you’re conceited?

Psh, that would mean I had a flaw. Preposterous.

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?

I woke up on November 1st wearing a crotchless Hey Arnold costume, despite leaving my apartment on October 31st in one of my better suits. I blacked out shortly after I departed, so I can't confirm that I actually put on (or was forced into) the costume during the 24 period defined as Halloween, but chances seem high.

14. Are you double jointed?

I thought I was once. Turns out that finger was just broken. 

Related Note: Don't mix Everclear with Percoset, no matter how much it sucks after you get your wisdom teeth pulled.

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?

I once spent the morning between the hours of 4:34am and 8:47am passed out at a booth in the McDonalds just off of I-96 at the Wixom exit. I woke to a mother chastising her child for staring at the "poor homeless man".

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?

This is true of pretty much and 24 hour period in my life.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?

No, for the last time, I am not that James Harper!

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?

Yeah, I do it as a kind of term-of-endearment for my closest pals, like Willis, Hawking, Abdul-Aziz, and Wayne.

Also, I call Germanotta by her last name because I refuse to acknowledge that stupid pseudonym she uses for herself now. 

19. How many guys will read this just because it says "GirlConfessions"?

Hopefully not many.

20. check of those that apply:

[  ] I do wear make up.

[  ] I have cried in a movie theater.

[X] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth

[  ] I get jealous.

[X] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.

[X] I love to laugh.

[X] I like death/grind/black metal.

[  ] I like rap.

[  ] I like techno.

[  ] I like country.

[  ] I carry a purse.

[X] I'd be lost without my computer.

[  ] I own a Spice Girls CD.

[  ] I own a Britney Spears CD.

[  ] I own a boy band CD.

[X] I get bored watching football.

[X] I've never been called a spoiled brat.

[  ] Guys are confusing.

[XXX] I've been called a bad influence.

[X] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.

Come on Ladies, be truthful!

1. What color is your bra that your wearing?

Not wearing one right now. The lady passed out next to me has a shiny blue one though.

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?

What?

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?

Damnit Gaddafi!

4. What's one thing a guy can do to make you like them?

Give me 20 bucks.

5. Do you have a best friend?

Jim!

Editor's note: No, you don't.

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yeah, but it got better.

7. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?

Well, I might have to if I get put into witness protection. Have to wait and see how this trial pans out...

8. Do you like your life?

It could use more explosions.

10. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend or girlfriend from you?

Yes

11. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?

Often. Mythbusters taught me it was a pretty solid way to avoid gunfire.

12. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?

Oh, I have lots of both.

Editor's note: Bar floozies and Drunken Frat Boys are not friends.

13. How long have you had a facebook?

Since November, 2009

14. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?

Not a boy.

15. What are your biggest fears?

Attack by Neo-Burlesque dancers, getting hit by a satellite that fell out of orbit, and wolfman.

16. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

No Yes.

17. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?

Yeah....

18. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater?

Unfortunately.

19. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?

Once or twice.

20. Do you ever wish you were famous?

Only before I became famous!

Editor's note: I can't tell if you are lying or you are really that misguided.

21. Are you currently missing someone?

Oh Bulsara...

THIS GUY OR THAT GUY? PICK ONE

Cowboy or Gangster?

Clint Eastwood

Preppy or Punk?

Anything else.

Face or Body?

Tits.

Good cook or take you out a lot?

Able to mix a decent drink.

Sweet or sexy?

Sour.

Armani or Abercrombie?

T-shirt Hell

Contacts or glasses?

Blindfold.