Why I am not allowed to play DnD anymore

"Alright," The Dungeon Master said, sitting at the head of the table, calculating eyes peering over his DM screen. "The entire party has been introduced except you, James. Where is your character?"

"Well," I said, setting down my can of Mountain Dew. "What time of day is it?"

"Its early evening." 

"Alright, my character doesn't approach the town until after dark. Preferably around midnight."

"Um," The DM blinked at me. "OK, the town gate is locked up, there is a single watchman standing guard on a tower above it." 

"I ride up and request entry."

"Nay," The DM responded, doing a (really bad) voice for the NPC. "No one may enter after dark. There are monsters that rise as the sun sets. You will have to wait out the night and enter when the gate opens in the morning."

"That is fine" I said, using a (much better) voice to simulate my character. "I've gone by the point of caring, Some old bed I'll soon be sharing."

"...Uh huh," The DM replied, still in role as the guard. "Why do you ride in so late, stranger? It would have been safer to make camp hours ago."

"I've got to run to keep from hidin'," I replied, sipping my Dew, "And I'm bound to keep on ridin'."

"Is that so?"

"But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no."

"Alright, this is ridiculous. Give me your character sheet." 

"I don't see what the big deal is" I handed him the sheet. "I worked hard on this character."

"OK," The DM studied the sheet. "You only have one silver piece?"

"Horses are expensive"

"You don't own any clothes, how are you dressed?" 

"I don't own the clothes I am wearing."

"Damnit James," He tossed the character sheet down on the table. "You based this character of the song Midnight Rider didn't you?"

"Maybe..."

"Son of a bitch!"

"Hey now, relax" I said calmly. "I have some back up characters. Here." I handed him a couple more sheets. He leafed through them.

"A wizard with the flaws deaf, dumb and blind and the feat Spell Thematics (Silver Ball)?"

"Yeah."

"No, you can't be the Pinball Wizard." He moved to the next one. "OK, this one looks promising. Cross class Cleric/Pirate."

"With a specialization in underwater combat!" I added.

"A Holy Diver!?" He threw the character sheets back at me with disgust. In the scrambled to pick them up I knocked over my drink. "Is that whiskey? You filled a Mountain Dew can with whiskey? Get the fuck out of here."

I still think Dio is totally an acceptable deity choice.